American Hospice Foundation, Washington DC, USA

By Helen Fitzgerald, CT

September 2005

Seeing hour after hour of horrific images on television, children may feel that they or their loved ones are threatened by events like Hurricane Katrina.  They may have nightmares or show unusual signs of anxiety. Or they may conceal their fears and pretend to dismiss the tragedy as something far away with no application to their own lives.  Parents, school psychologists, counselors, and teachers can alleviate children’s fears and restore their sense of peace by observing them closely for signs of anxiety, allowing them to express themselves as best they can, and providing them with a balanced picture of the world in which they live.

Children need a safe environment where they can express their fears and get answers to their questions. Communication between children and trusted adults is critical and must be nurtured to keep it going. The more our children can talk about what has happened and express their fears, the sooner they will be able to return to normal living. Adults may explain their own feelings of sadness and helplessness and then talk about ways that the children can express their feelings constructively.

Children's fears often appear in the form of nightmares or bad dreams. If a child remembers a dream in the morning, this dream is an opportunity to learn about hidden or baseless fears and to respond accordingly. Adults should also be on the alert for the quiet child who seems to be taking it all in without any adverse reaction. This can be the child most in need of help, too crippled with fear to express their real concerns.

Parents and educators should assess what children are saying, drawing, writing, or playing.  They should ask questions about what they have observed and then use the answers to get discussions going.  If a parent or educator observes something unusual, it is especially important for them to explore its meaning in the context of recent events.

Reassure the children that the world may be full of surprises, but the really big ones don’t come very often or affect the vast majority of the world’s people. Most people are allowed plenty of time for ordinary living: reading books, going to the movies, playing baseball, visiting with friends, or simply growing up.

Since this tragedy occurred, a new vocabulary has been introduced to our children. They may not know the meaning of scary words like evacuees, refugees, devastation, casualties, body bags, corpses, or dysentery.  One approach is to ask the children if they have heard words they don’t know the meaning of and then to look them up in the dictionary and put the words into perspective.

Below are suggestions for parents and teachers that may prove helpful:

• Give the children realistic information.  The uninformed child has only his/her imagination, which can be scarier than the truth.
• Stay physically close to your children.  Visibility, hugs, and cuddling are in order.  Children need reassurances that the adults in their life will be there for them.
• Limit their exposure to grim news on television and the newspaper, especially now as bodies are being recovered.
• Reassure children of their safety.  Ask what they need from you to feel safer.  Develop family and/or school safety plans.
• Keep communication open and be a good listener.  Create a “talk time” in your home or school, a brief period of time set into daily routines where kids can talk about their fears or concerns, what they heard on the news, etc.  This may be at the dinner table or at bedtime.  It needs to be consistent so children can count on it.
• Talk about feelings and provide outlets for expression: drawing, writing, and talking.

• Share your own feelings and let them offer to help you with your sadness and grief. 
• While there is plenty to worry about, keep adult fears for other adults.

• When children ask questions that you don’t know the answer to, it’s okay to admit that you don’t know.
• If a child asks a question that is difficult to answer, simply say: “That is a really good question.  Let me think about it for a while.” Be sure to get back promptly with an answer, or ask the child what the answer might be.
• Watch for physical symptoms or unusual behavior, like angry outbursts or total passivity.  If you feel that the child’s grief is excessive or getting in the way of his/her getting on with life, do not hesitate to consult a professional.  Contact your school for referrals or a community mental health center.
• Maintain daily routines as much as possible.
• Try to spend extra time with your children—reading, playing games—before bed.
• Protect your child’s health; try to see he/she gets appropriate sleep and exercise.
• Watch for signs of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), possibly reflected in recurring nightmares or intense anxiety over a period of several months.  For information on PTSD, the website www.aacap.org/publications/factsfam/ptsd70.htm has a “Facts for Families” page provided by the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry. 
• Give children something positive to think about, some reason to carry on in spite of the terrible losses that you and they have endured.  (Example: the way the whole world has become united in grief.)
• Give children something to do that will help the survivors of the hurricane.  (Examples: collecting money or school supplies that can be sent to the families)
  
  The intensity of children’s worries will vary from community to community, family to family, child to child.  In time, if children get caring support; tools for healthy expression of their grief; assurance that the adults around them will do everything in their power to keep them safe; and therapy, if needed; they should be able to recover from the shock of this awful tragedy.

© 2005. American Hospice Foundation. All Rights Reserved.

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